Break ups can be uncomfortable and could affect us immensely. The duration does not matter. They always leave us brokenhearted and lost. Most people end up not eating, sleeping and they isolate themselves from the rest of the world. However, life does not stop. You have to pick yourself up and move on no matter how difficult it might seem.
Below are a few helpful tips:
1. Cut off all contact- This means no more seeing each other, no phone calls,emails or even text messages. You should also try to avoid seeing his or her family members. Keeping your space will give you time to heal. If you maintain communication it would be very difficult to do so and you might end feeling worse than you already do.
2. Hang out and talk to your friends- This is not the time to shut everyone else from your world. Be around people who love you. Friends and family members will make you feel good about yourself. You could also talk to them about how you feel and this should help you get back on you feet.
3. Think it through but not obsessively- You should try and analyze the whole situation. Ask yourself what role you played in the relationship and in the breakup.Consider the reasons for your break up. Do not dwell on the mistakes for too long but rather think about the lessons you have learned. This should help you avoid such missteps in the future.
4. Write all your feelings down- Write him or her numerous letters that you are never going to send. Be absolutely honest with yourself and do not edit anything.This will help you pour out all the emotions because suppressing such emotions will ultimately prevent you from moving on. This therefore is important in the healing process.
5. Put away any memory triggers- These could be something, a smell ,music or even a place. They only remind you of the peak of your love life. Remember out of sight, out of mind and if you keep triggering your memory with things that remind you of your ex then you probably might never move on.
6. Start seeing other people but not rebounding- Eventually you will have to start meeting other people. Do it in an honest way. Enjoy their company and get to know them better. However, avoid getting into a relationship just because you feel the need to feel up a void. It will not be fair to the both of you. Do not also try to forget your ex by getting into sex as this will only make you feel emptier and more miserable.
7. When you find another relationship, avoid comparing it with your previous one- You should know that people are different. Searching for an exact match as your ex will only make you frustrated. It prevents you from seeing the good in this other person. Do also project the mistakes of your ex into your future partner. Just because they treated you badly does not mean everyone will treat you badly. Give yourself a chance to be happy with someone else.
8. Involve yourself with other activities- Start up new hobbies. You could start a dancing class or even do some home repairs. You could concentrate in your school project. Just make sure you are never idle. Idleness contributes to you thinking about the past so much and it could lead to depression.
However, the simplest and probably the most useful advice is that you give it time. You will not start feeling good about yourself overnight and it probably might take months. Just follow the above tips and be patient. If you can do that, i can assure you it will get better. We also recommend reading his secret obsession reviews for a program that can help in this regard.